Monthly Archives: March 2012

Be Honest

Be honest with Me, little one. Tell me – Stop holding it all in and tell Me the truth.

You tell Me you’re fine – but I see the tears you try to hold back.

Speak to Me beloved!

Tell Me what consumes your heart…

DEFEAT!

That’s what consumes me.

I can’t escape it, or avoid it – for it washes over me.

I know I should be stronger than this, I know I need to continue to persevere, to continue forward.

It’s just so difficult, overwhelmingly frustrating, so discouraging.

I feel trapped, locked in the confines of reality.

Faith and hope wane every passing day.

I’m at a loss of what to do. Where to go – how to live even daily life.

I’ve done all that I know how. Stretched in every way I can think of – but to no avail.

The mountains don’t budge, the waters don’t part, even the bush seems to burn in unmoving silence.

And so defeat crashes against me –

Slowly eroding a once solid bedrock.

Angst seems to dwell in the pit of my belly.

It seizes my heart, trying to bend it to it’s ways.

My heart is beaten down, battered by defeat and discouragement.

But all the while it continues on, because of one thing alone.

My heart belongs to You.

No matter how bruised, no matter how torn, no matter how raw.

It stays steadfast to You.

Regardless of the pain, despite the heartache.

I know that it is Your love and truth that keeps me together.

Defeat may crash against me, but it will not conquer.

For I belong to You.

It is in You – I have the strength to stand, to go on.

I will humbly walk through brokenness if it means that I am with You.

For it is you God that my heart seeks after.

Whatever the cost,

I walk on.

Even in the midst of seeming defeat.