Redeem me oh God
Once again I have strayed
Fallen away from the path you have set before me
Trying to lose myself in tawdry things, of no value
Gratifying my need for
worth from things that can never give what I truly desire.
My deepest desires are to be known
And therefore loved intimately
I keep searching and searching
For these two things
In all the wrong ways
The arms of another
A life of pretend
But in the end these sources always leave me wanting
Proving again that I am unloved and unknown
All the while I know that you are the source I desperately desire
That you are the one that knows me
You are the one that loves me
I long for you
But why do I seek other things?
Other things that I know will never know me as intimately as you do.
Maybe I run to the things that will know me generically, so that I would receive an illusion of intimacy. Because it is in those things I never have to become truly vulnerable. I retain my mystery, my independence, and my safety.
To choose you,
to run into your arms is to let go
Of every built in protection that I have in my life
To be known by you
Is to be vulnerable
To be seen
Nakedly revealed to you in all ways
Oh God redeem me
Receive my naked form
Take me into your embrace
Redeem this heart once again.